Movie Moments

Someone told me once "You're not crazy. You just want the Romantic Comedy and it doesn't' exist ." I agree yet disagree. A movie aspect exists in everyones life Dark Comedy, Drama, Suspense, even Horror; scenes are based off events that lead up to life changing moments for the characters. This also happens to real life people. Personally my movie moments are of a RomCom short for Romantic Comedy, not because I favor them but because the events that have changed my life have resembled RomCom movies.

When a new journey starts it normal to think about the past (a bit) how its shaped, helped, or ruined you. Recently, I have thought about my first encounters with the people who make my life better, I go back to them frequently thinking "If that didn't happen..." but it did and that what's important. A friend of mine and myself are just in awe of how life came to be from one person or one interaction, these things can shape your continued character.

A few that have changed my life:
- A giggly 11 year old girl who has stuck around for 12 years now. (Holy Hell)
-A new roommate who was normal (ish), humble, and down to earth. Opened my life to a new type of crazy.
-A new cast mate from the same part of Home, same circle of friends, and lived down the street but didn't know of each other until a rehearsal.
-A Classmate one day realized "Hey! You look familiar." little did we know it was because we had all the same classes together. Very observant.
-A stupid whim deciding to take my own RomCom into Destiny's hand and perform a Grand Gesture. This ending in me finding out the hard way Romantic Comedy's you can't plan.  
-An unaware moment. I was listening to music on the bus minding my own business, thinking I need to meet people. Low and behold someone is calling my name, apparently for a few minutes. I don't know this persons name (at the time) but they said "Hi"

The RomCom exists in certain areas, of course everyone will keep getting a few Horror movies before they get the Happily Ever After with Prince or Princess Charming.

Environmental Family

    About 10 months ago I caught up with an high school friend, we haven't had time to catch up on the last 2 years of our lives. We've been busy, Livin Life.  In the ole High School throw back days we would crack jokes (on each other), pretend to do classwork and have gab fests. Now being seasoned in the higher educational department (Meaning I enjoy going to school now) that sounds irresponsible and silly, but when your 16 talking to the star football player you have your properties in order. 

    Our conversations would range from who knocked him out during the game on Friday to "Why is the musical called RENT?" pointless but always entertaining. The topics we covered were never in-depth about feelings or what affected us. Until our most recent conversation, it took a grown up turn, we covered a topic that affected us and needed an outsiders point of view. 

My friend started out with the question that took me by surprise not because it was quite intelligent but more of "Oh! Hey! I wonder about that too!" 

Him: "What should a person be looking at?"

Me: The good. Enough good in someone ways out all the bad.

I continued: What do you think a person should be looking at?

Him: At everything around them. Not just their heart but what surrounds the heart.

(My friend continues and starts to bring up a deep valid point.)

Him: Because how can you cause bad in the environment that surrounds the heart? We can't be naturally attracted to the bad, so why would their be bad? 

Well Well... That seem simple. Why can't we hold onto that outcome every day?

    I then told him the bad doesn't hold the power its people. Bad situations, Bad decisions, Bad environment, will never go away. People see all their obstacles as either something that keeps them down or as something that makes them shoot to be better than "The Bad". People are powerful each one can con core the world, it just bottles down to "What should you surround your environment with?"

After our conversation I started to look at what surrounded me, 10 months later and I see what surrounds me is family. 

    The constant acceptance of being a complete fool every time you open your mouth and at the end of the day these people will still claim you. Even though Flying Ants, Spotted Armadillos, and Smelly Aunts are your answers to a game of Scattagories. 

    My family is not blood related (I love them too) but my family are people who wake up after Dollar Tuesdays and play The Recap: The Hangover Style. These select few surround my heart and make me strive to be better, I surround my environment with people who know bad comes and goes but each one cares and sticks around even if your lost, mad, sad, or crazy. My family truly knows one bad thing isn't the end. They are what I look at. Family. 

My friend also predicted I would break this down in writing.... it took 10 months but Thank You :)           

Opportunity? What opportunity?

*Note: This was written a few weeks ago, a writer thinks their work is never finished. But if I keep that frame of mind nothing will be written on this Blog. Enjoy :)

Red Camaro By Rascal Flatts:

Turn up the music loud 
Take the T top down 
And let the chrome shine
Cruise along the river side

These lyrics make me want to drive a car, just cursing down the wide open road free to roam anywhere. To bad I don't own a license. Yes! I'm 22 years old and don't drive (unless go-carts count) Now believe it or not in my life I haven't needed a license; walking, public transportation, and taxi's have come in handy for me. But listening to this song trying to picture driving, it makes me wonder. What's it like to Tokyo Drift? I can picture being a passenger, that has perks. I can turn up the music loud (unless the driver changes the song), I haven't taken a T top down I don't even know what the hell that is, Chrome shine the car does all the work there, cruise along the river side again drivers choice of location. 

When one hasn't participated in a "Normal" activity it makes you wonder about missing opportunities. Which then leads to going back to the past and stressing about how blind you were in certain situations. We've all done it! Some more than others {This Girl} but the little quote we worry warts should grasp: "You screw up, Good Job! You know what you did wrong let it go, you don't have a time machine." It's hard to let go of the mistakes they hurt, and not the kind of hurt that someone else has put upon you but the hurt you put upon yourself. A person can hurt you, that goes away and forms into strength. The knowing your better, smarter, beautiful, and more fun than what hurt you, that is what sticks around. The knowing is the hurt you lash onto yourself everyday. "How could I have been so stupid!" "What the hell was I thinking?" For me to forgive myself, I'm like the albanian guy in The Da Vinci Code, I bust that whip out for purely punishment ;)


Being in the know makes loosing things harder. Having the information or memories carry importance to you and loosing the opportunity never crosses your mind. You enjoy being in the know. Choosing the right option you make some type of list: 1.) What will this bring me? 2.) Where will I go from here? 3.) Why do I want this? The question that very seldom comes out is: What will my life be like without (Insert Opportunity)? So now the question is Does forward thinking make loosing anything easier?  
Which do you do miss out or get hurt?

All My Love

(WARNING!:The sound track currently inspiring this post is Celine Dion all because I just recently read a few posts by some one who inspires me on a few levels. Thanx Destini)

I have flaws! Now I consider them a bonus to my personality because I have a lovely roommate who found the quote of my life

Now, reading this quote one may think that "Wow! She deals drugs!" or "OMG! She wore blue when the color of the season is pink!" real time crime stuff but ... no. The "Bad" decisions happen through out my life to pin point all of them would be cruel, for you not me. Some may say Stalking is one of them. People don't believe that I can be a good spy with that technique, just a crazy lady with lots of baking utensils.
(BTW Decisions is spelled wrong in the quote, which I also do frequently)

Lately, My "flaws" have been influenced, inspired, and indifferent. See writing is hard for me because I get so excited! "HOLY CRAP! Your expressing yourself!" is what my brain screams at me. For that reason I tend to not write, I get frightened by my crazy maze brain. (one day in this noggin you will wonder how I function.) But from the words of a guest speaker in a recent class and Nike "JUST DO IT!" Simple and to the point.

Next! Being emotional comes with being Inspired. That makes me happy! People in my life who are extremely talented and even people I don't know (the ones I stalk). I can't help it. I tend to scare my talented friends (Example: A) with as much love as a romantic song because that's rare, to be surrounded by people that inspire greatness in them selves and in return thrill my mind to learn more.

Which brings me to the indifference part. I am a giver. But as a giver people might think I'm a sucker, that makes me laugh. Ha Ha! I don't think its fair to be welcoming and giving then get walked on. A couple months ago I would have cared, raised hell too but I couldn't give a flying fart in space now. I know what I want, I know what I'm good at, also I know who is around and who isn't. And if someone isn't around the day will continue as will I.

I need to be told a sentence again right after it has been said, I need to spell better, I need to learn to walk, I need to do a lot but instead I embrace all the flaws (or annoyances) and the things I am not. I let the things that I am be affected with positive Influence, emotional Inspiration, and reassuring Indifference.

They're Ok, You're not.

Parents teach you how to become an adult (although failed to mention how it is overrated and hard), life lessons (clearly not each one), and intelligent conversations (Yeah, ok).

Parents: When each one gets older (no matter how many years apart they are) the tables turn. What do I mean by this, well...they become your children. Now! Some may doubt or some may see the light and agree, whether you believe or not, I am sure of this theory.

Alone, confused, frightened, empty, fragile, broken are all feelings we experience when some thing or some one is taken from our universe. This universe could consist of earth, a house, a relationship, a state, a country, a mission or a space ship ( for the crazies out in the universe). NO matter the circumstances you miss that person or persons, the universe you knew is turned up side down and your left to figure things out. As we all know it just flat out sucks! We cry, wine (well we drink too), piss, and moan; then you realize 1.) The sucky parts are always worth it, although hard to see but worth it. 2.) You have become a parent to a child (Bless you), a dog (creepy in this scenario) or your actual parents (Mom&Dad combo).

When the fruit of their looms (Kids) go away and start a life of their own, they have to start over as well. But what really hit me is parents "They can do it." and the parents realize their looms (Kids) can do it too. No child wants to think about or believe "Oh yeah! They can get a life now!" I'm sorry false, don't' think so! You and I both know when you get a random call in the middle of the day just to say "HI!" or get a text saying "You smell!" from a parent stop fibbing about you don't light up like a christmas tree. This Girl Does!

Children still nesting with their fruit, loom away!

Good Times... Not a Treasure Hunt

Searching high and low for an "Awesome" time or flipping through your phone trying to find a "Cool" person to hang with for the night, never ends up being a smart move. All it ends up being is you in a bar/house party or a "I'm a going to have the hearing of an 90 year old when I wake tomorrow." club/happening spot with a bunch of losers. When defining losers think of "Hip" people who drink as if 2012 is the high time of prohibition and going to fancy "Adult" places. I hate to burst everyone's reality show hero's but it is not the only way to have fun, going to a "Dive" bar with the saying Snake love Kitty carved into the wall is a bucket load of finely well medicated fun and less diva.

The pump in spot of the night could be a cozy studio apartment with the sounds of the street city life trickling through at a medium volume or a loft apartment with 4 roommates and the daily fueling sounds of quiet conversation, a movie or TV show, laughter, and a microwave.

Last night the kicking club not only had crazy dancing but the banging menu from all over the world. This hot, spicy, sizzlin spot was Otwiera translated from Polish to English is Open Door. A cozy studio apartment that has the best green couch any club hopper can enjoy. The dancing consisted of NSYNC's It's Gonna Be Me, Jordan Knights Give it to You and the latest episodes of Glee, a world class menu (literally) needs to be saved for the next sentence.

A Menu that was provided by Safeway, had every clubber in the spot making their first stop in China with Pot stickers, next traveling quite a ways to Italy for Lasagna, and then stopping in Austria for cakes of the coffee dessert with raspberry filling and the occasionally pit spot to Jamaica for an adult beer beverage. More entertainment was provided when the club closed down and a select few stayed for Blind Fold Hide and Seek (in the dark). One was injured but walked away with everyone else laughing.

When going out on the town drinking with the coolest crowd on the block do you really have a good time? Or is it in the simplest of places, with the cray cray of people laughing till 4 am. Looking high and low for a good time you never find it, these good time are sneaky. Each one creeps up on you and doesn't give you a map, this good time expects you to do nothing. A good time is not a treasure hunt but it is a treasure.